The 28th Dress

In the day and age where man has come to see that we, as a people, are taking a close hard look at our financial futures, as well as that of the ones we love; aka, family!

Now that we take a second thought to making that large purchase, whether it for fashion, for a car, a house or appliances; we are also thinking twice about the potential (or for some, inevitable) finding that special someone to call our own. The potentials and advantages of having a spouse, legally speaking, will give several advantages come the end the year.

And more still, the affair itself. Knowing that one day or night you will be either draped in a gorgeous wedding gown or suited up in a formal tux. The much needed things that create for us the idea of that perfect moment, are priceless.

Priceless, but at times come well equipped with a hefty price. How much are we ready to pay before we say "I do!"?

The average US couples spend $19,581 for their wedding. In order to have that wedding you'll need a wedding ring, and perhaps you'd like to go on a honeymoon when the affair is said and done. How stimulating! To the economy that is, and the idea of this institution not only allows the merritt to call someone legally and biblical binding, but as previously mentioned gives it's fringe benefits.

On the order of 1,400 legal rights are conferred upon married couples in the U.S. Typically these are composed of about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits. Among them are the rights to:

• Joint parenting
• Joint adoption
• Joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents)
• Status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent
• Joint insurance policies for home, auto and health
• Dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support
• Immigration and residency for partners from other countries
• Inheritance automatically in the absence of a will
• Joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house or apartment
• Inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivor ship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate)
• Benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare
• Spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home
• Veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans; joint filing of tax returns
• Joint filing of customs claims when traveling
• Wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children
• Bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child
• Decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her
• Crime victims' recovery benefits
• Loss of consortium tort benefits
• Domestic violence protection orders
• Judicial protections and evidential immunity
  and more....

I'm still vague on the concept that this institution should be reserved for those that marry outside their gender. If we look at the grand scheme of things, allowing everyone into this institution would solve some civil unrest, but also have the possibility to impact the economy in a fascinating way. Say that marriage is allotted as a right to all men and women regardless of the sexual identity of the one they choose to wed. Look at the possibility of how many more weddings would be entered into, an already saturated market base that generates over 40 billion dollars a year. Can you say "Big money?" Let's be real, some gay men would lavish at the opportunity to plan his own wedding.

I can see it now; a large white wedding dress/tux combo marching down the isle, doves being released just as the 'I do's' are being said. The men are happy, the registers of the local marts would be a bit fuller and merchants happier still. Let's take another look at this possibility before we turn a blind eye to ideological differences and antiquated ideas of the newly emerging idea that we call marriage.

Memoirs of a Gay Addict - Part 7 - Enter Silence

Agoura Hills? Though the sound of it was rather ominous, I decided to rescue Fade-Dra just the same. I drove until there was no more light in the sky but the twinkling embers of my cigarette falling into my ashtray as I tapped out my cigarette. I reached the modest 12 bedroom castle wedged in the hillside of some forgotten Los Angeles "THE Place to Live." I parked my old (old compared to modernity and the like) 1999 Mercury Cougar on the side of the road behind, what I presumed to be the limousine that transported the cast to this lush abode, Fade-Dra being one of these said passengers.

At the gate I was greeted by two half-whit, barley legal, security guards in kilts. Needless to say, I felt no threat or hesitation to approach the check-in table. There I was brashly greeted by a jangly gay man and his not so whimsical girl counter part. They asked my name and rushed through two clipboards looking for my name. I knew they wouldn't find it, due to the fact that I didn't RSVP. "Sir, how did you hear about this event?" "Fade-Dra," I replied. They began to look at one another in awe and dismay, as though I just spoke to them in tongues. "She's a drag queen, performing here I think." "OH, the one in pink!" "Go ahead, she's up the stairs to the left."

Upon arrival at the top of the steps I was greeted by a merman swimming in the pool. Rather odd pet I thought to myself...and I don't see the fun in it, but 'ups' to the host, for being the only man ballsy enough to have such a liability swimming about unattended. I glared across the open bar and tried to rest my eyes on anything that resembled new collection pieces, interesting jewelery, shoes that weren't purchased at a mall discount store, but to my disappointment, I found none.

What became of you night, what offers have you in store for me tomorrow, for tonight I stand here alone in my fantastic fabulous-ness, only to be surrounded by relics of the past in beige khakis and double breasted waist coats...for women! Eeek!

I was able to find Fade-Dra, who, at the time, was four or five sheets to the galling winds! After the music started, as we were there for a record release party...I glanced at the video of a priest pressing upon the face of a disturbed young man, a large ornate cross. I glanced over to fade-Dra and nodded "it's time".

As we coasted down the highway from nowhere ville America back to the 'civilized' world, I wondered; were we all destined for such a fall from greatness as witnessed by me at this "Party"? Will I one day not care that I am wearing pinstripe pants with a polka dot shirt?

The evenings efforts were not all lost in the hills of the forgotten realm. We finally ended up at a good friends house, where we proceeded to purchase a 'pick-me-up' if you will, one that isn't too too much but enough to get us through the night. The night took a turn for the better as I saw a great man Jimmy Jasmine, who was impressing me with his Crass t-shirt that was written in Arabic. I strolled through the Eagle, a leather gay bar planted smack dab in the middle of Silver Lake, CA. My efforts were not lost, as I saw some rather interesting creations of style and grace. though I thought the idea of charm to be lost in such an audience, I was happily pleased to find some men really care about how they looked before they walked out the door. I love gay men and our sense of style.

The night ended abruptly, when Fade-Dra motioned me to the exit...as I sat at on Mike's designer sofa (Fade-Dra's roommate), I contemplated what I had just witnessed. The abomination of some of the outfits at 'the party' didn't closely resemble fashion, and yet the styles of the men at the gay bar were above and beyond some Parisian runway gave me a sigh of hope. "Perhaps I am destined for a better 'look' for the rest of my life. I mean if the company I surround myself with has any indicator as to who I am and how I like living; I feel, for now, this life will be lived with an ease of knowing that I too make the mark of fashion in Lost Angeles.